For some reason, the local Time Warner Cable installation guys have some bad paperwork and think that there is no paying customer in my apartment, so when they come to connect someone new, because there are only 5 jacks in a cable box for 8 apartments, they disconnect me.
In the past, this was a simple problem to remedy. I would go down to where the external box is, open it up (because no cable dude bothers to lock it), add a splitter and a splice, and I'm back up. But not this time.
This time, there was an obstacle. Seems the Time Warner Cable dude locked the cable box, forcing me to call up Time Warner Cable. The conversation went something like this...
Me: Hi, my cable and internet is out.
Customer Service: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Is it both your cable and internet?
Me: Yes. A new resident moved in today, and the local installer plugged them in. As has happened the last two times someone has moved in, the cable dude has disconnected my cable.
(we go back and forth about my account information)
CS: Well sir, I am very sorry to hear that. I'll go ahead and give you refund because you've had so many outages.
Me: Thank you. In the past, I've just gone down there, opened up the cable box, and reconnected the cable myself. This time, the cable guy has locked the box, putting me six inches away from where I need to be to fix the problem that he caused.
CS: We can send someone out there to get this problem resolved as soon as possible.
Me: Great, when can he be here?
CS: Well, it looks like I can get someone out there on Tuesday, how does that sound?
Me: Not sufficient. Your service guy disconnected my cable, like they have done twice before, this makes it number three.
CS: I'm sorry sir, but that's the soonest I can get him there.
Me: It will take a cable guy five minutes to show up, unlock the box, reconnect my cable, and leave. He doesn't even need to knock on my door to tell me it's done. Or, he can just unlock the box, and I'll take care of it when I get home tomorrow.
CS: Sir, everyone just needs five minutes of his time, and I can't take any of our personnel off their current calls.
Me: Well, I guess you leave me with no choice. I'll just have to drill the lock and reconnect my cable.
(a short interaction that I can't remember where the customer service dude may have suggested I not do that)
Me: You know what, you don't need to bother to send someone, I'll be taking care of this. If you can send someone tomorrow morning, I recommend you give me a call at the phone number listed on my account soon, because I'm going downstairs right now to resolve this. Thank you, and goodbye.
That was probably not the most prudent thing to do, but I was tired and annoyed that we lost our internet access for the 3rd time because their technicians have bad paperwork. In the past, I've even caught a tech disconnecting me (I was surfing the net at the time), and had them plug me back in.
So, what did I do? Exactly what I said I'd do. I pulled out my drill and drilled a lock for the first time (read farther down for my method). It went pretty well. The low-quality lock body was no match for my $5 bit set and $30 Ryobi.
Upon opening the cable box, I discovered that the cable guy was being particularly malicious, and had cut the splice that my cable had been using to connect (my cable line is about 8 inches too short to connect to any of the jacks directly, so I had been using a cable splice that some other cable guy had left in there). Thankfully, there was another piece that was long enough, but there were no more available jacks, and I was fresh out of splitters.
A trip to Home Depot (2 miles from my apartment) got me two splitters (a spare for next time :P) and a bunch of stuff we need for the wedding. A quick disconnect, some screwing in, and we were up. Going back inside, cable and internet were back on. Woo.
The updated box with note:
The note reads:
Cable guy/gal, Apartment 3 is a paying customer until at least June 2012. Please stop disconnecting me. Thank you :)
I'm hoping that the note and drilled out lock is sufficient to keep me connected. Time will tell.
My method for drilling a lock:
I used a 1/4" steel twist bit and drilled in the center of where the key goes (not the center of the mechanism, see the picture farther up). When I would get far enough in for the drill to vibrate a pin into the bit, the drill would sieze up and kick (I have a keyless chuck drill, so my bit would slip). I would reverse the drill, use a bit of wire to scrape the pin out of it's hole, and continue. This lock had what looked to be 8 or 9 pins, though I didn't count as I removed them.
After I had all the pins out, and could see straight through into the box, I swapped to a 5/16" wood spade bit, jammed it in the 1/4" hole, and pulled the trigger. Anything that was left in the locking mechanism (springs, etc.) were sheared off, and the mechanism spun freely.
Once my internet was up, I had a chance to check videos of the "proper" method: drill out the pins themselves, use a screwdriver to turn the mechanism while you tap the lock to get the pins to adjust enough so the lock can turn. If you fail there, you just drill out the entire lock. On the one hand, I'm a bit sad that I didn't discover the "right" way on my own. On the other hand, putting a 1/4" hole into a lock does feel really good.
Update: an update to this saga is available here.